Sadie's Body

It was gonna break Momma’s heart, seein’ Sadie like this. She was layin’ on her side, like she does when she sleeps, ‘cept her legs were wrong. Her spine was crooked, too, and the way she lay in the gutter, leanin’ against the curb, looked like the way my bicycle sat on its kick-stand. Blood soaked the entire lower half of her body, makin’ her fur all wet and dirty like when she swims in the pond down the road from our town-house.
Momma hated when Sadie swimmed in that pond. If she was havin’ a really bad day, she’d kick Sadie and call her another name I heard on TV sometimes. It sounded like “itch” but really bad, “bitch.” And momma would try to hit us, too, if we said that word. “It’s a word Mommies and Daddies use when they’re mad,” she’d say to me and Tommy, “and y’all definitely ain’t old enough to be Daddies.”
“Where the hell are we gonna put her?” said Tommy. I was so focused on Sadie that I didn’t even hear Tommy come back outside, so I jumped a little when he spoke. I turned around and saw he was wearin’ his work overalls.
Tommy was thirteen years old, five years older than me, but since Daddy was gone he acted like the man of the house. Momma liked havin’ him act all responsible like that, but it made him bossy and mean sometimes.
“We gotta bury her, don’t we? And put a gravestone on top of it, like on TV, so people know how good of a dog she was.” I said.
“It’s a fuckin’ dog, James. Graves are for people.”
I knew he was really mad ‘cause he called me “James” like Momma does, and he used that “yuck” word that Momma hates.
“But Momma loved her like a person! Sadie was almost our sister, Tommy. And isn’t she German or somethin’, like a person?”
“She’s a German Shepherd, dumbass. It’s just a type of dog. And I don’t even know why I’m helping you with this, it was your fault she got hit. Momma told you that when ever you take her out to use the damn leash!”
“I’m sorry! I just wanted to play ball with her, and she can’t run in that stupid leash!”
“Shut up. We gotta get rid of her or Momma will know it was our fault, and I’m supposed to keep an eye on you while she’s workin’, and she’ll get just as mad at me. I have an idea, wait here.”
Tommy walked up our driveway into the garage. I was glad I remembered shoes this time, ‘cause the black driveway gets really hot in the sun and hurts my feet. Our house looked just like every other house on the street. They were even painted the same color, an ugly blue that looked like old jeans. When we first moved here, I got lost playing outside once. I couldn’t figure out how to get home, ‘cause no matter where I went, it looked the same as where I just been.
Tommy came back from the garage with a black tarp under his arm and two shovels in one hand layin’ on his shoulder. He stabbed the shovels into the ground so they stayed up, and then he spread the tarp on the ground next to Sadie.
“Here.” Tommy pulled one of the shovels up and handed it to me. “Help me get her body onto the plastic, and don’t get any blood on you, we don’t wanna have to lie to Momma about that, too.”
We each slid the end of our shovels under both sides of Sadie’s body and lifted her off the ground. Her head flopped off the end of my shovel and I saw her eyes, her dead eyes. We set her on the tarp, and it looked like she was starin’ a thousand miles above me into the sky.
“When Momma gets home,” Tommy told me, “We’re gonna tell her that Sadie ran away. You know what, don’t even say anything, you’re a bad liar and Momma’d spot it comin’ from a mile away.”
“But I don’t like it when we lie to Momma!” I said. “I can tell her the truth, Tommy, I’ll take all the blame for it and you won’t get in any trouble.”
“I told you, Jimmy, Momma told me to watch you and if she finds out about Sadie she’ll know I wasn’t watchin’ you. Then she’ll blame me for this and I don’t want Momma beatin’ me for killin’ her dog.”
“No, Tommy, we gotta tell Momma. We’re treatin’ Sadie like garbage! Momma would wanna know so she can say good bye and stuff.”
“Shut up and quit actin’ like a sissy. Grab the other corners of the tarp, we’re gonna take the body to the river and dump it there.”
I had heard that phrase before, on TV, when the bad mobster guys killed a good guy they would “dump his body in the river.” It was a bad death, and the good guy’s wife and momma would cry when they found his body. I thought of Mommy finding Sadie’s body and how it would make her cry, and Tommy became a bad guy in my mind.
“No!” I screamed at Tommy, “You’re not dumping her in the river! She was a good dog, you fuckin’… Arrgh!”
I couldn’t think of no more words to say so I jumped at Tommy. I swung my hands at his face and punched at his stomach. All I could think about was the good memories of Sadie. I remember how Momma put a hat on her for my birthday, and I scratched at Tommy’s face. I thought about the time Sadie barked really loud at some bad people who were outside our house, and I made a fist and punched Tommy’s side as hard as I could. As we fell to the ground, I remembered how Sadie was smaller than all the other puppies in her litter and how Momma picked her out just for that.
Tommy’s back was on the street and I was on top of him so I thought I’d won, but he grabbed my wrists with both his hands so I couldn’t hit him no more. I flinched and closed my eyes real tight ‘cause I thought he was gonna hit me. But nothin’ happened, and I when I opened my eyes I saw that Tommy was covered in blood, all over his arms and chest. There was blood all over me, too, on my arms and shirt and pants.
I looked at the street around us and we were layin’ right in the spot that Sadie died. It was her blood that colored our skin and soaked our clothes. My chest started heavin’ and my eyes started to cry, and when I looked down at Tommy’s face, I saw that he was cryin’ too. I let my arms go loose in his hands, and he wrapped his arms around me.
“I’m sorry, Jimmy, God, I’m so sorry,” Tommy whispered into my ear. “You were right, she was a good dog, she was a real good dog.”
Tommy helped me stand up, and we noticed it had started to get dark. The street lamp at the corner clicked on, and that meant Momma would be home soon. Tommy folded the tarp over Sadie’s body, so we wouldn’t have to look at it no more. We walked to the back yard to wash some of the blood off with the hose, but our clothes stayed red. Me and Tommy didn’t say anything to each other while we did this.
We stayed quiet when we went and sat on the stairs to the front door. Neither of us said a word until we saw her headlights turn down the street and into the driveway. Her nice work shoes click-clacked on the driveway as she walked up to us and asked what happened. At first she thought we had been fighting, but Tommy told her about Sadie and how he was being mean about it. I was glad Tommy talked ‘cause I was too busy cryin’. I couldn’t stop thinking about those memories and how there wasn’t gonna be any more.
Momma pinched her waitressing apron and wiped the tears from my eyes.
“Come on, boys,” she said softly, like only Momma could say, “let’s go inside and clean you up.”